Today we feature a photograph of the Man himself, Mr. Pancho Villa. It was taken around 1910. I hope you all will indulge me a little longer, as I would like to spend a little more time on these "bandit" type pictures. I have found that I have become fascinated with them. I sit around listening to old Freddy Fender music, looking at pictures of bandits, and dreaming of Old Mexico. I am in search of the quintessential bandit picture. What I like about this picture of Mr. Villa is he is wearing two bullet belts . . . one over each shoulder, in proper bandit fashion. The hat is properly tilted back, but I would have liked it to have a little bit larger brim. Also his clothes are a little too neat for me. The biggest drawback in this photograph is that he does not have any weaponry showing. I have the perfect picture of a bandit in my mind, but have not been able to find that perfect picture.
[WARNING: Politeness policy expired last night at midnight. Viewer discretion is advised]
Wow, I had a lot of fun yesterday with the contest. I must say it was the best contest ever. When I posted it, I thought that it would not be that hard. About two minutes after I posted it, the evil Nate Maas put in his first entry, and it was very close. He guessed Mrs. Pershing, when it was in fact Mrs. Villa. Pershing and Villa were the leaders of the two different sides. My heart sank, and I knew he was on the right track, and was anticipating that he would put a quick end to the contest in the next two minutes. I had even started queuing up a second contest. Then Nate, the bumbling idiot that he is, got off on all this touchy feely stuff about manners and Mother's Day. At first I had thought that he had gotten up early for the contest, but then realized he had probably just gotten home from a night of debauchery and lasciviousness.
Once Nate got off on the politeness angle, like mindless lemmings, most of the rest of you followed "The Great Nate Maas" right over the edge of the cliff. I was just sitting their chuckling my evil laugh watching Nate squirm.
By about lunch time I was pretty sure I was going to win. No one was getting even remotely close. Plus, my plan to distract you with details of domestic unpleasantness was working like a charm. Then along comes Ross from Maine. I note that Ross has won several contests in the past, and I am now concluding, like Nate, he is just trying to make a mockery of the contest, and humiliate and embarrass me. I think there is little doubt that he is working in concert with Nate to destroy me.
Oh yes, somewhere along the way Nate mentioned that he had seen "somewhere" on the Internet a grainy picture of Mr. and Mrs. Villa. The only place on the Internet that I am aware of that the picture is up is on the Wikipedia. Please, tell me no, Mr Mass . . . you are not using the Wikipedia as a primary source!?! Tell me it is not so. No wonder our public education system is in such a mess.
Next week will be different . . . oh yes, it will be different. I will destroy the evil alliance between Nate and Ross. I will defeat them. I will defeat you all.