Saturday, May 23, 2009

Living Large, Christoval Texas

As promised, I am posting pictures from today's "Toenail Trail Days" Parade. First, a few points about our little community. It is about 400 people. It is about as close to Mayberry RFD as you are going to find these days. There are some differences . . . Mayberry had a sheriff, Christoval does not. It is not even an official town, just 400 people that happen to live in the same place. There is no police department, no mayor, and no city hall. The only government building is the post office. There is one guy who runs the water system. Trash pickup, and all that . . . well, you are on your own. Oh, and there is no newspaper, as word of mouth travels so fast here there is no need for one.

Here comes Mr. Custer in his original 1914 Case Tractor . . . one of only 3 in the country still in pristine running condition. He is a very bad man. He drives it by my house to torment me, tooting his little horn and everything.

Another shot of Mr. Custer and his tractor. He also has horses, and all types of cool things. He is my nemesis, as he somehow convinced his wife to let him get this marvelous machine.

Yes, Mr. Custer follows me around in his tractor.

"Brother Doug", a former State Trooper turned Southern Baptist Preacher at the Christoval Baptist Church. A fiery preacher. I am talking "Old School" here. Members of the First Baptist Church of Christoval can always expect an inspirational, no-nonsense message . . . well prepared, and well delivered. Also, I would suggest a man not to be toyed with.

Christoval Boy Scouts proudly carry US and Texas Flags down Main Street. Hmmm . . . just once I would like to see one of those idiots on TV burn a flag here. Folks would not take kindly to it, I tell you.

Christoval has a Volunteer Fire Department. In case of fire, the fire whistle blows, and the boys drive to the Fire Station, and depart in this well maintained, "vintage" fire engine. The Christoval VFD is made up of many dedicated men, volunteering their time.

Note to Self: Add Lamas to the Birthday wishlist.

Did I mention that of the 400 people in Christoval, 399 of them have a Tractor? Note to Self: Next time Mrs. PJM asks for the flags to be taken down at 1:00 AM, get up and do it.

I think this guy is smirking at me as he goes by in his shiny new John Deere Tractor, with front end loader. I bet he has all the attachments. I am green with envy. I will get my tractor, Oh yes, I will get my tractor.

I am really getting tired of this guy. Wherever I go he follows me in his original 1914, one of only three in the country, Case Tractors. He will rue the day when I get my Buffalo. Yes, he will rue the day. Hmm, wonder if he can tell me the secret of women? How did he convince her to let him get this. Note to Self: Stop making rude gestures at Mr. Custer, and see if he will advise on convincing women tractors are needed.

No Gasoline? No Problem. In Christoval you are as likely to see people on horses, as in a car. Note to Self: Add a fine pair of ponies to the Birthday wish list.

Oh, now this guy is really showing off. Him and his little John Deere Gator. I think he should just grow up. Note to Self: Add John Deere Gator to Birthday Wish List. Additional Note to Self: Ask Mrs. PJM tonight before bedtime is she would like flags lowered just in case wind blows.

And just when you thought it could not get any worse, this guy starts flying over the parade in his little ultralight that he built. He has his own little landing strip nearby. Every Sunday morning he flies circles around my house showing off his little airplane. He wont think it is so funny when he sees my buffalo one day soon. Note to Self: Order ultralight kit brochures.

OK, this is the little abandoned miniature donkey Mrs. PJM saw at the vets office yesterday when she had to take little Elmo in for an ear ache. She came back really talking about this little feller. Note to Self: Try to talk Mrs. PJM into adopting this little guy . . . then say he needs a buffalo to not get lonely.

OK, what can I say? You pretty much know all about my little town. About all I can say is that if you don't live here, well, I feel sorry for you. Small town America is still alive and well. Also, you can see that I have my work cut out for me. My Birthday is less than a month away, and the list has gotten longer. Note to Self: Make dinner for Mrs. PJM tonight, and then take her out dancing at the Toenail Trail dance.
Living Large, in Christoval Texas!


  1. What a delightful day you had! Too bad about the flagrant flouting your neighbors did with their stock and tractors. Around here the ranchers put donkeys out with the cattle to protect them from the coyoties that are all over central Texas now.

    The little donkey Mrs PJM is interested in could be described as a heard protector (atleast, in training), sooooo, if you have a protector, you will need some stock for it to protect. I would suggest that a small herd of buffalo (two) would be an excellent start for him. That approach combined with bringing the flag in without her asking could get what you want.

    If this works, can a tractor be far behind?

  2. Al,
    I think you are on to something. Mrs. PJM does want a flock of chickens, and we all know that chickens unprotected are chickens eaten. We better go ahead and get the donkey. Of course while the donkey will guard the chickens, he will not be completely fulfilled, as he needs a companion his intellectual equal. Enter the buffalo. We might be on to something here.

  3. Great commentary. They should hire you to announce the parade entrants.

    Reminds me of our Pioneer Day Parade. My boys like to call it the tractor parade:

  4. More tractor photos are found on the slideshow linked at the top of the website I just provided.

  5. Nate,
    Please tell me you do not have a tractor. I dont think I could stand it if you had a tractor.

  6. I do not. I need something a little faster to manage my bison herd.

  7. This post made my day!
    You rock, PJM!

    Brother Doug might encourage you by pointing out that you are developing your divine nature in your patient quest for your dream:

    2 Peter 1:4-7
    Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
    And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
    And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
    And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

    Meanwhile, you're living in Heaven, my man! Additionally, you have a stellar wife and a willing and obedient daughter, PJM. Enjoy!!

    (Note to self: Seriously consider a Lab and start saving up for a Memorial Day, 2010 trip to Texas. Additional note to self: suggest to Husband Christoval, TX as alternate retirement spot over my current dread, Salmon, ID. Last note: Start saving up for Husband's tractor.)

  8. yay! for the llamas!

    btw, my (elderly)father has a john deere tractor, with a front end loader thingie and a trailer and a cab that he can put on in the winter when he uses it to plow out their driveway... oh yeah, he also has a plow attachment. and a tiller thing that it drags behind to plow up the ground for his vegetable garden.

    i thought you might want to hear about my dad's tractor since you're so interested in tractors and all... yeah, i'm really nice that way:)

  9. Pursuaded,
    Wow, really rub it in why dont you. There is this nice little New Holland tractor down at the feed store, just down the street. Brand new, and the perfect size WITH a front end loader. I just ran down there and looked at it. I asked the lady that owns the place if MRS PJM had been in. She said she had, but she was there to buy medicine for Little Elmo's ear. I asked if she had inquired about the tractor. Sadly, she said my wife had not asked anything about the tractor. Perhaps the lady that owns the feedstore is being coy, not wanting to ruin my surprise. We will see.

    You will need to check out Christoval before making a permanent retirement decision. Remember, no income tax in texas, and no sales tax on groceries. Also, plentiful locally produced food, just in case the economy collapses.


  10. POPE GEORGE RINGOMay 23, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    Very nice to see your hometown. A blessid Memorial Day to you and to all the Vets and their loved ones. God Bless.

  11. Happy Memorial Day!!

    I wish we lived where you do!!

  12. Loved the pics and your funny commentary. Perhaps you could get a John Deere sponsorship on your blog to finance bday present?

    Note to self: learn how to write like Mr. PJM. Note to self II: Learn how to say no like Mrs. PJM.

  13. Loved looking at small town America. Looks like a fun day was had by everyone. Great commentary as always. As for the tractor, bison or whatever else your heart desires--good luck. When I lived in Fairbanks, AK, our next door neighbor had some llamas. Very friendly and occasionally you'd see a moose walk by and they would check each other out.

  14. Loved the pictures!

    One of my most embarrassing moments happened because of a tractor. As a young adult my father use to let me take my young son for rides on his tractor. On one such excursion we took a trek through the woods and there was a particularly uneven area that I thought unsafe so I had my son sit on a stump a little ways off while I manuvered the tractor over the rough area. While climbing down I somehow put the tractor in gear and it knocked me down and ran overtop of me. It continued on it's merry way like an animal delirious with it's new found freedom. I wasn't really hurt, just bruised and beat up. Not too crazy about tractors anymore.

    Sure looks like you had a delightful day. We have a "Johnny Appleseed" festival:

    and a Three Rivers Festival:

    which are pretty fun.

  15. I wouldn't fit in down there. Aside from the Texas heat, I ride english. But really PJM, Every man I know who bought a piece of land also bought a tractor or is shopping for one. It's just the masculine nature. But if everyone in town has a tractor but you, then you don't really need a tractor. You can hire someone. I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but it is the logical answer. Believe me, I've been there. My husband was the same way. I still have the tractor - a Massey Ferguson with a nice front loader. 8-)

  16. heather,,whatta story,i can see this in me head,,women an tractors bad mix,perhaps i should reintroduce you to fishin,but,,
    can ya swim?
    wink wink.

  17. I really enjoyed this set of photos..I'm normally a quiet observer but I have to say the young man in white on horse back would make me leave the city for small town America anyday!!! Good luck on the tractor PMJ :)

  18. FANTASTIC post, great writing, and NEAT blog. I'm so glad I found your little place today, THANKS!!!


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.